A Piece of My Mind…A Very Small Piece

How much does the mind affect the body? I bring this up because of a particular condition I possess which is quite difficult to understand. It has taken varying forms over the years, and has been quite the nuisance at times. Now, however, the same pattern affects my job, which of course is ministry. I speak of a health condition; it is not so much a particular ailment (as the specific malady is what has changed as the years have gone by) as it is the timing of the flare-ups of such ailments.

Long ago, in the halcyon days of school, I had a tendency to get sick (or at least, the sickest) during those times when I needed to be somewhere important, usually band/music-related. Allow me to give you some examples:

• I was hospitalized with lung problems during the weekend of all-district band in my eighth grade year, leaving the hospital and directly making the hour-long drive to participate. I missed the auditions, sat last chair, and missed the concert because I was too weak.
  
• I was hospitalized the week before the Kentucky Music Educators Association State Marching Band Competition in my sophomore year of high school, being dismissed at noon on a Friday, and on a bus making a cross-state trip by five that evening.
  
• My junior year of high school marked my first entry into the All-State Symphonic Band, at fourth-chair trumpet. I missed said concert because of illness.
  
• I acquired the flu just prior to leaving for the governor's inaugural parade, the song being performed having an important trumpet solo from yours truly. I missed the parade, and the song had to be changed at the last minute.
  

There were other bouts of illness which I could relate, but there were also those high points in which illness played no part: band clinics, other district band concerts, and my senior year being first chair All-State Orchestra. But the propensity for my body to assimilate bugs of all sorts during those moments of intense importance to me and others has always struck me as odd. It was even joked about by friends and teachers: "Competition is coming up. Book a hospital room for Chris." Chances were very good that if sickness came knocking, it would be at the worst possible time.

It's been a long time since I've had any "serious" bouts of lung problems, but a new issue has crept onto the scene: all things stomach-related. To keep from being too crude, let us just say that the tummy-region has been a source of great pain, embarrassment, annoyance and inconvenience. On a few occasions it has been so bad that I sincerely thought that I would soon be face-to-face with the Creator. Most times, though, it's just enough to stop me from doing what I both want and need to do. Now that I am no longer involved in the school band scene, and now have what I consider the most important and sacred job a person can have, can you guess when these fights with stomach-related problems most frequently occur? Anyone? Anyone?

That's right. Sundays and Wednesdays.

So, knowing what I know (that I have stomach problems dating back two decades, and that I have to preach every Sunday and Wednesday) I am forced to ask myself: are my sick moments caused by the randomness of illness, extremely bizarre timing (which some would call "dumb luck"), or is it partially psychosomatic? Is there something in my subconscious mind that makes me sick at the worst possible times? Those who have known me since those school days would say that the pattern is simply continuing, probably opting for the psychosomatic angle previously mentioned. Others may say that it is merely the forces of evil attempting to halt me from my God-appointed mission of carrying the Gospel message to the congregation each week.

Whatever the case, I don't like it. I don't like it at all. There aren't really words to describe how much I don't like it. However, I have been forced to take the following approach, one which I did not realize earlier in my life but have matured into as I've grown older. If it's just bad timing, then there's nothing I can do about it, so just do the best I can. If it is Satan trying to discourage and destroy me, then I just more fully place my trust in the Lord, for He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. But what if it's God? What if the Lord Himself is allowing these waves of illness to crash upon my life's shores on the aforementioned days of the week? In that case, there must be some reason. Perhaps it is to teach me understanding for those who themselves suffer and are prevented from doing what they want to do, including coming to church. Perhaps it is to test my faithfulness (will I move forward with my ministry or let it cripple me? Will I let it rule me, or will I rule it? Will I trust in God to see me through, or will I give up?). Maybe it is to show others what God is capable of doing.

Christ promised us that life would be a bed of roses. Now before you go and say otherwise, let me explain. Life is indeed a bed of roses. However, that rose bed comes with stems and thorns and weeds and poison ivy and bees and those little bugs that make you itch even though you can't really see them. No matter what hand is dealt to us, we must play the hand to the best of our ability. I am always apprehensive when Sunday and Wednesday roll around, wondering if I will be sick or not, and if sick, just how bad it will be. Just this past Sunday, a day of baby dedications and adult baptisms and Vacation Bible School Commencement and singing and sermons, I felt much like the result of my stomach ailment (I'll just let you figure that one out). But this time it continued through Monday, with a little bit of debilitating, go-to-bed-and-stay-there headache thrown in for variety. That, at least made me feel a little better, knowing I was sick on a non-church day.

So, I guess my job is to remain positive, trust the Lord, and do the very best I can in my ministry. And if it is all in my mind, I guess what others have said still rings true: I suppose I really do put the "psycho" in "psychosomatic." At any rate, if you have the time, say a little prayer for me on church days.

© 2007, Chris Keeton and Soulscape Press. All rights reserved. All material printed on this site is protected by the copyright law of the United States. It may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of Chris Keeton and Soulscape Press, obtainable by leaving a comment (with your request) which will be forwarded to Chris Keeton. Altering or removing any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content is not permitted. Any and all portions of material copied from the Soulscape Blog must be properly attributed to Chris Keeton and Soulscape, and cited with original blog web address.

Manageable But Unwelcome Uncertainties

It was a few months ago, March to be exact, when I made an entry in which I used the phrase "when it rains, it pours." Although my own little neck of the woods is experiencing drought conditions, in other areas of life the rains are indeed falling. Some things which occupy my mind are positive, others negative, but through it all the Lord's grace is sufficient.

The last couple of weeks have been particularly taxing for our family, with the discovery that my grandfather (who lives with us, who was at one time my pastor, and is still my mentor and friend) has developed cancer in his mouth. Through biopsies and unexpected medicine reactions to hospital stays, these last two weeks have been what I will call "crunch time." There comes a moment in life where faith is put to the test. This is not to say that faith is questioned, but that all the beliefs and all the words you've held to and spoken of for so long are brought before you.

In my case (as a pastor) I advocate trust and grace and peace on a weekly basis. But it's easy to say those things; it's an entirely different thing to live it. Over the years I've watched others confront their faith in courageous fashion; some have had a difficult time remaining at peace through the storms in their life. It had always been one of those defining questions for me: how would I handle rough situations in my own life? Perhaps better stated would be, "Will I be able to practice what I preach?"

As questions and crises have arisen these last couple of weeks, I have been aware of that tangible-yet-unexplainable peace not only in the lives of my grandparents, but also in myself. Is it any less difficult or painful? Not at all. But just underneath all the uncertainties and impulse to give into that paralyzing fear is that small ribbon of grace and peace which calms the tumultuous waters on life's sea. There is no way to know how the situation ends; there is no way to discover what a year, a month or even a day has in store for us. Yet there is no doubt that God will be there to see us through.

At a time like this it is not always easy to find the words. There are too many emotions, and with the Spirit of God there are not really words that exist to convey one's thoughts and feelings. But throughout it all it is possible to know that "it's going to be okay." Those aren't just words anymore. They are a lifeline.

© 2007, Chris Keeton and Soulscape Press. All rights reserved. All material printed on this site is protected by the copyright law of the United States. It may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of Chris Keeton and Soulscape Press, obtainable by leaving a comment (with your request) which will be forwarded to Chris Keeton. Altering or removing any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content is not permitted. Any and all portions of material copied from the Soulscape Blog must be properly attributed to Chris Keeton and Soulscape, and cited with original blog web address.

No Light Bulbs in Heaven

It always seems that when one light bulb goes out in my house there will soon be several. I guess that's a good thing, kind of takes care of them all at once. It is a bit annoying, though, when you go to flip a switch (especially in the dark) only to find that the room is not as bright as it should be, or there is no light at all. When only one bulb is lit in one of those two- or three-bulb, you can always make do, but eventually you have to get the stool or chair out and start replacing the old with the new.

Over the years, I've been involved in or heard conversations about what heaven will be like, what will and will not be there. I was thinking the other day about that very question, and it just came to me: there will be no light bulbs in heaven. The Bible tells us that the light of Christ's presence will fill the entirety of heaven, so we never have to worry about a bulb blowing out and leaving us in the dark. But until then, we have to wrestle with bulbs of all shapes, sizes and power consumption.

Why do I bring this up? Well, that's a very good question. With everything that goes on within a church congregation, projects and programs and such, there is a natural dependency upon people to fill the positions. Like our dependence on light bulbs, when a job is at hand and a person is needed, we hope to flip the switch (so to speak) and the job will be done. But sometimes the bulb goes out, or there isn't enough bulbs for the job. This happens for a number of reasons: a lack of personnel, an unwillingness or inability on the part of the participants to meet the task, or a break in the wire (otherwise known as a communication problem). No matter the reason, when something goes awry, it is difficult to get the task completed.

I don't know; I guess I'm an odd person when it comes to certain beliefs or perceptions about God's Church, the entire family of God. I've always been one to think of the personal or local aspect of God's Church as secondary, and focus on the work of the whole, the advancement of the work of God's kingdom. What little my own congregation can do is important, to be sure; but that work in concert with all Christians, everywhere, is vital. The amount of cooperation between congregations, as well as the individual members of those congregations, serves not to promote a single church building, but the work of God's one Church, the family of God.

I have been blessed over the years to be able to help others with their Christian work, and have always found that I've been very blessed through the effort. As I have preached many times, my main concern is for the souls of the people I meet, and for the furtherance of the Lord's work. I always get some strange looks when I say something like this: "I want you to get saved, and I'd like for you to attend my congregation. But even if it's not here, as long as you're in church and you're right with God, then I will rejoice." I mean that. I was taught to believe that God's work comes first and everything else is secondary, including personal gain. I don't know how many share that view, how many pastors are more concerned with the overall success of God's kingdom than their own congregation and denomination. And who knows? Maybe I'm naïve to think this way, but that's the way that I am.

There are times when a high-watt floodlight serves better than a 25-watt bulb, but sometimes you only have the 25-watts to work with. In a case like this, it does no good to lament what you don't have, but instead use what you do. And if that particular bulb goes out, then you adjust. What's important is that you get the job done the best you can. Don't be afraid to borrow a light, or get your hands a bit dirty in doing a little rewiring or bulb changing, because ultimately it's the job that's important, not the light bulb itself. The key is using what light God gives you to shine as brightly as you can in this world, in order to do the most good.

A while back I got a new little toy: it's called a 'headlight,' and it's an extremely bright LED flashlight that you wear on your head (hence the clever name). The reason I like this little battery-operated toy so much is that there are times that you need both hands to work with, and so if you're holding a conventional light, you're down to one hand. In those situations, the assistance of someone else to hold the light is invaluable. That's what I've determined to be. I don't know how effective I can be, but I know that if I give it my best, the Lord and His work will be glorified. And whether it's me working for Him, or simply holding what little light I have so that someone else can work, that's okay with me. In the end, it's not about who gets the credit down here, but who receives the ultimate glory. As long as that's Jesus, then I'm okay with that.

So until we get to heaven, when we don't have to worry about light bulbs, my job is to let my light shine and try to inspire and encourage others to let theirs shine as well. And maybe, just maybe, we can work together to reflect the light of the Lord even more in this world. Working together, even the smallest of lights can shine a bright beam into the darkness and make all the difference. And that's what I want to do: make a difference.

© 2007, Chris Keeton and Soulscape Press. All rights reserved. All material printed on this site is protected by the copyright law of the United States. It may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of Chris Keeton and Soulscape Press, obtainable by leaving a comment (with your request) which will be forwarded to Chris Keeton. Altering or removing any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content is not permitted. Any and all portions of material copied from the Soulscape Blog must be properly attributed to Chris Keeton and Soulscape, and cited with original blog web address.